How can you possibly do this great part of the world justice in just four days? Basically by picking the eye teeth out of the attractions. Here’s how we did it.
Day 1 – Grouse Mountain and Capilano
Joy – it’s not raining. Just a bit of cloud. We hop on the bus north to Grouse Mountain, renowned for hiking, mountain biking and of course in winter, skiing and snowboarding.
I was last there in December 2005 hoping to do the Grouse Grind, a 2.5 km trail climbing 800m straight up the mountain. Sadly I was confronted by a large sign:
Here it is summer of 2026 and I’m good to go, taking Pauline (and Sam’s pet monkey) with me.
Just a few little problems. Back then I was super-fit. Advance 21 years and I’m an unfit pensioner with a steel plate in my ankle. Pauline looks a bit dubious too, but monkey was keen to go.
Perhaps we’ll take the gondola to the top instead for the views. I look up to see the gondola cables ascending into swirling gloom, and we agree to not spend $200 to see the inside of a cloud.
A gentle walk along the BMC trail instead, taking in the Western Hemlock, Douglas Fir and Western Red Cedars as we step over the rocks and roots. There’s a certain sameness to North American cedars, and the deep shade and toxic soil they create means there’s very little undergrowth. A strong contrast to the variety we see in kiwi bush.
Back down the hill to the Capilano Suspension Bridge – another revisit for me. The bridge and treetop walk are as spectacular as ever,
and now they’ve added a Clifftop walk as well.
I’m still puzzling why Pauline posed me here.
In case you’re wondering about the suspension bridge, it was constructed in 1889 by George Grant Mackay, a Scottish civil engineer. Just like the chicken crossing the road, he wanted to get to the other side.
There’s a gift shop (of course) on the way out. Noting I don’t have a Canada sticker on my suitcase I pop in to get one, even if it means blowing a couple of dollars. No stickers. However Pauline did spot a collection of fine hand-crafted buffalo leather handbags. “This old army surplus bag I bought in Wellington years ago has had its day”, she says with a gleam in her eye. We exit the shop $220 lighter, and Pauline is delighted.
On our way back to the BnB we note how Vancouver is very much like Auckland, a port city but on a grander scale. The commercial heart is on the south side, with residential on the North Shore (where unlike Auckland you can actually cycle across the bridges). Our area seems a bit scruffy though – many lawns are unkempt, weeds grow in the gutters, and the houses are looking a bit tired. “A bit like Glenfield”, I remark, and get a swift slapping from Pauline.
But apart from the obvious of the traffic driving on the wrong side of the road, there are a few other things that set Vancouver apart from Auckland:
- Metre-high fire hydrants. Perfect for dogs to mark their patch
- Squirrels darting up trees, and crows cawing from the power lines
- Bear-proof rubbish bins
- Heaps of Teslas but no Chinese EVs
- An efficient ferry and metro system
- Electric jugs that take an eternity to boil. At 110V in North America you can only push 14A down a domestic wire, so jugs are 1500W vs our 2400W. Pauline can get grumpy if her cup of tea is delayed, so this one’s important. I think of the economic cost. Half a billion people waiting an extra minute for the jug to boil four times a day. That’s 3,800 man-years of lost productivity every day. Or more to the point, 3,800 grumpy woman years.
Day 2 – Victoria and Vancouver Island
Why Victoria? I’ll let AI answer this one:
Victoria is the capital of British Columbia, located on the southern tip of Vancouver Island, and it blends historic architecture, coastal scenery, gardens, and a compact, walkable downtown. It’s consistently described as one of Canada’s most beautiful and visitor‑friendly small cities.
Indeed it is. What the blurb doesn’t tell you is that it’s a real mission to get there. Hop on a ferry in Vancouver harbour and disembark in Victoria? You have to be kidding! It’s a train – bus – ferry – bus sequence to get there. Each leg takes a significant amount of time, and Vancouver’s amazingly efficient Compass transit card doesn’t work on Vancouver Island.
We’d initially planned to combine the Butchart Gardens with Victoria, but quickly realised we’d run out of time with only a day at our disposal, so the gardens got the chop. After an early start we arrive at lunchtime after an hour-long bus trip from the ferry terminal. Standing pretty much the entire way as the bus was so full. No scenery to speak of on the way either.
The ferry trip was better – we could actually sit down, and enjoy the islands as we approached. I was a little concerned we were sailing over a very small triangle of USA territory, and had visions of the ferry being boarded by US Marines, passengers interrogated, and me locked in a Texas cell due to some of my social media followings. This at a time of heightened Canada/USA tensions with Canada walking away from an unfair trade deal, and the Americans ramping up tariffs. The disdain, bordering on contempt that normally mild-mannered Canadians have for the Trump administration is palpable.
But Victoria is a gem, and well worth the visit.
And of course no visit to Victoria is complete without seeing Fan Tan Alley in Chinatown, famous for being the narrowest street in Canada.
I wasn’t looking forward to the return trip to Vancouver, and was sorely tempted to blow $200 on a float plane. Common sense prevailed, and we queue up at the bus stop. Canadians are so polite they apologise when bumping into furniture, and queue along with the rest of us. Not so an aggressive group of Chinese tourists who push in in front of us as we’re about to board. Pauline signals them to the end of the queue. “Oh we have friend on bus” as they march on. Standing room for me as we head back to the ferry terminal. Should have taken the plane!
Day 3 – seeing Vancouver city
Having explored the city environs, it was time to focus on the city itself. It’s too big to walk, so the obvious solution is to bike it. Despite being a heavily motorised city, Vancouver is blessed with an excellent network of protected cycle lanes, cycle-friendly crossings, and off-road paths. From the heart of town we hire an e-bike for Pauline and conventional pedal power for me. A good combination – while Pauline blitzes me on the uphills I catch up on the downhills.
First up, the totems at Stanley Park.
While the geese remind us which country we’re in.
Lunch and plenty of attractions on Granville Island, but the highlight for me was a country singer/harpist, with a Gordon Lightfoot song peculiarly poignant.
A backtrack to Kitsilano was barely worth it, but if you go to Vancouver you have to say you’ve been to Kits Beach. By kiwi standards it’s nothing to write home about, so we continued our trek around the False Creek harbourside to return to Stanley Park.
By now we’ve covered just under 40km, and Pauline’s bum is starting to protest. My suggestion to cycle over the Lion’s Gate Bridge isn’t well-received, so we head back to the bike shop with an hour to spare.
That means we can squeeze in a quick excursion to Gastown to see the clock, but more on that tomorrow. We head back on the ferry for a slap-up meal at a well-regarded seafood restaurant close to Lonsdale Quay. We always try and eat and drink local, so I choose a Sockeye salmon washed down with a pinot noir, while Pauline has the Halibut and a pinot gris. Both wines perfectly acceptable, but lacking the depth and complexity of their kiwi equivalents. The halibut is fine, and the salmon not as oily or flavoursome as the kiwi variety, but perfectly acceptable. The standout is the octopus though, which we share for an entrée.
Day 4 – flying out
Our run of cloudy/fine weather has come to an end, and we wake to grey skies and light rain. We don’t need to be at the airport until 6pm so have a leisurely checkout and head into town.
There are no baggage lockers at the terminal, so seek out a couple of options. BagsAway in Howe St is close. Expecting to see a large bank of lockable lockers, we find ourselves in a small convenience store at the base of the PWC building. “Yes yes – this is BagsAway”. We dubiously check in our bags, noting a bunch of others in the storeroom behind the counter. It worked perfectly.
First stop the Gastown steam clock. Built in 1977 to prevent vagrants from hanging around a steam vent, the clock is an engineering marvel.
It “chimes” just like a grandfather clock every 15 minutes, but the chimes are actually steam whistles. Midday sees it at its most spectacular as it goes on to produce 12 steam blasts that echo around the neighbourhood.
But the best place to spend time is the Dr Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden. An oasis of calm in the bustling heart of Vancouver, with just the odd siren or train rattle intruding to break the serenity.
Can Canadians now do a flat white?
As we sit in the departure lounge at YVR we can reflect on a fantastic four days in British Columbia, and respond to a 21 year old question. When I was last here the local cafes had no idea what a flat white was. The closest I could get was to ask for a 12oz double-shot latte, easy on the foam.
The situation has improved, but not markedly.
Espresso machines still aren’t common, but occasionally you’ll find a café with one, and even more occasionally a signboard offering a flat white.
But don’t get your hopes up. Kiwi baristas have mastered the art of stretching quality milk into an ultra-fine, velvety microfoam. Combined with a double shot of espresso from quality beans the result is flat white perfection. While some Canadian efforts come close, most fall well short. Let’s see what the London baristas can do. Stay tuned!
Postscript: for the best NZ flat white look no further than Jim and Jenny’s Kotare Mara Rural Coffee Stop in rural Waihou near Te Aroha. Just round the corner from where Pauline and I live. We certainly lucked out there!
