Mekong sardines

Newsflash! In a discovery as significant as the Kratie freshwater dolphins lower down the Mekong, scientists have now found mammalian flying sardines in the upper reaches north of Luang Prabang.

The sardines fly at great speed just 500mm above the water, reaching speeds of over 50 kph at times. Articulated for compactness, the creature's thoracic segment is encased in a soft, buoyant exoskeleton, extending to a hard layer protecting a bony skull and abnormal brain. Hearing loss is significant. Blood tests show higher than average levels of cortisone and adrenaline. The gluteus maximus shows signs of depression through constant pressure, while the posterior lumbar spine shows extensive bruising through contact with sharp edged wooden objects.

Schooling together in groups of 8 or so, the sardines propel themselves above the river in an 11m long shallow draft craft powered by a four cylinder Toyota engine of approximately two litres capacity, swivelling on a pedestal at the rear of the craft. A 5m long prop shaft connected directly to the crankshaft provides prodigious thrust just below the water level, enabling the craft to successfully navigate rapids at great speed.

The craft stops at times allowing the sardines to remove their knees from their chins and engage in a vaguely human dance as they attempt to restore circulation to cramped limbs.

Strange creatures indeed.