Phuket

Boxing Day. 26 December. My mind goes back exactly three years to the devastating tsunami that claimed so many lives, including over 5,000 Thais. Phuket was hit badly, and as I take my early morning swim I idly wonder what I'd do if a saw a wall of water looming in front of me.

They say that once you see the wave it's too late - you can't outrun it. So what - swim towards it and hope you get to it before it crests? What about the backwash once the wave's hit? I'm pretty ignorant about all this. Let's just hope the sirens go off in time for me to get to high ground. The tsunami evacuation signs are all over Patong Beach, so at least I'd know where to head.

But I digress and get a bit ahead of myself. What/where is Phuket? Patong Beach?

Phuket Island is a largish island (say 70km long and 30k wide) just off Thailand's south west coast. It's connected to the mainland by a pair of bridges. The western side of the island contains the beaches, while the central/south-eastern end contains Phuket Town. I'm at the most touristy beach, Patong, pretty much in the middle of the western side.

I'm heading out for an early swim - I have this fanciful notion of lying in the water watching the sun rise over the eastern hills. But I'm not first on to the beach. An army of beach groomers are raking up piles of foul smelling seaweed and taking it away before they lay out the deck chairs in anticipation of an avalanche of tourists.

In the water appear to be shark nets, but on closer examination they're just marker buoys designating safe swimming areas. Not that the beach is dangerous, but when things hot up any gods quantity of boats and jetskis are hooning around, so it's best to keep the swimmers out of the way. The water's warm, and I stay in for an hour.


After breakfast I come back to execute yesterday's failed plan - have a beer on the beach. I lie down on a deck chair looking out to sea thinking all's pretty good with the world when an officious Thai shows up demanding 100 baht. Apparently I'm sitting in one of his patch of deck chairs! I'm leaving in a few minutes anyway, so decline his kind offer and go and sit in the sand.


Plenty to do at Patong. Parasailing looks like fun. The punter is harnessed in and runs like mad into the surf. A Thai kid swings up behind him to control the chute once they're ascending.


Of course Patong brings out the not so beautiful as well.


But picture a sandy beach, coconut palms, deck chairs, food, drink & trinket vendors, 30 degree heat and warm water, and you've got the general idea. Not everyone's idea of a holiday, but it's a bit better than the horror stories of crass commercialism and dour Thais that I'd been led to believe.


At the end of the day the chutes are furled, jetskis trailered away and the deck chairs stacked - all ready to repeat the process tomorrow. I was hoping for a classic Andaman Sunset photo, but being just after the winter solstice the sun drops behind the hills to the south west.

Dinner saw me back at Starbucks, but not such a pleasant experience this time. An Italian couple at the next table were having a full-on arguement, with raised voices and wild gesticulations. I'm willing them to shut up so I can enjoy the music. But as soon as they leave, a few heavy drops arrive. Then more. Everyone scurries for cover as the heavens open in a tropical downpour. I hadn't had the foresight to pack my poncho - but it's so warm here being out in the rain isn't unpleasant.

While Wednesday was chill out on the beach day, I was determined Thursday would contain a bit more action. I contemplated spending 2,000 - 4,000 baht on a tour to the off shore islands, but seeing movie islands (The Beach, and James Bond) interspersed with a bit of swimming or 10 minutes kayaking doesn't do it for me.

So I decide to explore the island. But what transport? After agonising for half a millisecond I settle on a Honda CBR1000RR Fireblade. My logic is that the traffic here is so manic I'll need the power to get out of trouble. A scooter just won't cut it. Yes I'll have to be careful with no protective clothing (except a helmet) and no insurance, but it's the best way to get around.


And compared to the gutless 750 Fi and I had in Chiang Mai, this thing is a rocketship. In no time Patong is a rapidly diminishing blur in my mirrors as I head north - I've decided to see the bridges where the island is connected to the mainland.

Back down to the Ton Sai waterfall in the Khao Phra Thaeo National Park, then the heaven's decide to open again as I head south. As I feel the first drops explode against my helmet, I see I'm 200m away from the shelter of a petrol station. I'm saturated by the time I get there.

I've heard about the Gibbon Sanctuary on the other side of the Park, so once the rain's eased I set off to find it. I see the signs, I see elephants, but no gibbons.

The heat rising up from the bike plus the wind blast dries me out pretty quickly, so it's time to check out the more laid back beaches south of Patong - Kata Beach and Karon Beach. Very nice they are too - if you want a bit less of the Patong action.



This spot just south of Patong is easily accessible on foot.

And the verdict on the Fireblade? An exceptionally fast, good handling sportsbike. Would I trade in the Raptor? No - the Blade will outperform it, but the Raptor is a far more tractable and stylish package. After a few minutes of riding the Blade around town in slow conditions your wrists start aching and your crotch catches the engine's heatwave. Over 100kph - comfortable. 200kph - optimal. But I didn't go that fast - in fact the tacho needle didn't even make it in to the top quarter of the rev range.

Just as well - when I got back to the hotel room I realised I'd forgotten to pack my first aid kit.